I know... I know...

I haven't blogged in so long. My apologies. Yes, I've been busy with life in general, but I haven't felt like blogging much. You see, my Hubster is now deployed and I'm still at that depressed and grieving stage. Don't worry I always hop right back out of it after a couple sessions of my ugly cries. You know the ugly cry where you look so ugly and sob like a big baby? Everytime I see someone in uniform, or even something as ridiculous as a World of War Craft commerical that reminds of my husband,  that ugly cry seems to creep up on me. I don't try to hold in, I just let go. So I leave you now with this picture.

13 minutes and 46 seconds of pure bliss. 13 minutes and 46 seconds of communicating with my best friend. No one will truly understand the relationship between a married couple whose husband is in the military...and Army...and Infantryman unless their husband is in the military, the Army, and an Infantryman... it's a different breed I tell you. Moments like these 13 minutes and 46 seconds go such a long way and each and every second cherished more than you can imagine.

Exploring

I am absolutely in love with this hidden gem. It is simply beautiful and nature at its best. The rolling hills, long grass, blue sky, green brush, the different textures all call for a wonderful backdrop. You would not believe it, but this place is just in between houses and buildings just a couple of yards away.


SOOC (Straight Out Of the Camera)

So you know how I thought about taking My Boy out here for a shoot? Well, I figured... why not? My Boy had his monthly trip to the barber and right after he got his hair cut, I told him we would go exploring for a little bit. He was so excited when I pulled into the parking lot and asked me if we were going to catch rabbits, squirrels, bugs, lizards, and spiders. Uh huh, sure son. as long as you smile and look at the camera.

And of course it would not be a complete photo shoot with my son if it didn't include something about animals. 



My howling coyote



Field of Dreams

Once again, my beautiful cousin Marsha has done it again. I did a previous shoot with my cousin in Point Loma because she let me use her to practice. This time around, I was on my way home from my last day of school. I took the backroads home because of traffic. On the way home, I saw this beautiful field that I thought was breathtaking. It was a windy afternoon and the sight of the tall grass blowing in the wind just caught my eye. I absolutely had to shoot here. At first I thought about doing a shoot with my son here, but the thoughts of my son rolling down the hill, chasing rabbits, and getting splinters ran through my mind. So then I thought of my cousin Marsha. I contacted her that day and a couple of days later we made it happen. And the results are absolutely stunning. See for yourself...

Summertime

My body is no where beach body ready for the summer, but this little girl is ready for the beach.

I can't wait to enjoy some sun and the sand in between my toes this summer. Although, it's still Spring, southern California is most infamous for its gorgeous weather. This past week we enjoyed some fun, festive "summer" activities. My older brothers, family, and I took the kiddos to the beach for a late night grunion run. The kids had a blast! This was my ninth time going to a grunion run and my dreams of seeing fish jump around in the sand came true this year. You see, everytime we went to see the grunion run in the past I never saw any fish at all. I was beginning to think that this whole grunion run didn't even exist. But low and behold, like my son and daughter, we were able to share that experience for the first time, seeing the many fish flip- flopping on the sandy beach as the waves crashed ashore.

We also got to finally try Lappert's world famous ice cream.

Their guava cheesecake ice cream and dole whip are ahhh-mazzzing!

These boys seemed to disagree with me and think that the blue bubble gum ice cream was the best.

Summertime is a time to enjoy, relax, and enjoy each other's company. Most importantly for me, it is the time to spend with my family and make everlasting memories.

Engagement Session

I had the wonderful opportunity to capture David and Kelly's engagement session at Old Poway Park. I asked my cousin Marsha to be my second shooter that day and we had a wonderful time. Check out her photos at her photography blog.

David and Kelly were amazing to work with. They were fun, energetic, and full of love for one another.

Capturing the Memories

My love for photography first began with the birth of my son, and grew even more with the arrival of my daughter. I love capturing the memories of my kids and seeing them grow and change. When you look back at a photograph, it is a snapshot of the time and memory of that very second. When I look back at a picture, I am emmersed with the sight, smell, and sound of that memory. For instance, when I look at the photograph of when I  captured my son's first time at the beach, I can relive it as if it were yesterday.

This past week, we had some big, important events for my daughter. Her two bottom teeth are coming out and teething is in full effect.

Over Memorial Day, we went to Sea World. It was My Girl's first time there and she enjoyed looking at all the fish.



Just Another One to Check Off my Bucketlist

Growing up, I would tell my parents I wanted to be a doctor. Then that changed into wanting to become a nurse. Then a teacher and then back to a doctor. That was over twenty years ago, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But who says that our dreams and aspirations only have to be in one career field?

So this summer I am taking a different direction. Instead of starting in my masters program in education, I'm going to do something that I am also passionate about; I am going back to school for photography. Yes, photography! I will be attending UCSD's extension program and will be pursuing my associates degree in photography. However, I still plan on pursuing my masters degree sometime in the near future.

Will this mean I'll make more money at my current job? No. After completeing my degree, will it allow me to advance further in my career? Maybe. Is it a prerequisite for another graduate program? Nope. Do I have to do it? Absolutely not.

But will I enjoy every second of every minute of it? Absolutely. Will I gain the skills and foundations I need to upgrade from being a "photo hobbiyist" to photographer? I hope so.

I am so excited to take this journey on in my life. With my Hubster soon deploying, going back to school will also be an outlet for me to help me get through the deployment and keep me busy; not like having two little ones and working as a teacher does not keep me busy already.

Here's to following all of your dreams and aspirations no matter how big or small. Just another one to check off my bucketlist...

Toys

Toys, toys, toys. My son seems to have a bajillion toys. Yes, a bajillion. From hand me down toys, from his Lolo and Grandma buying him toys, to his Ninongs and Ninangs, and his Papa. And yes, I'll admit I am part of the problem sometimes. I mean educational toys are an exception, right?

In order to control the massive amounts of toys, I box about 70% of his toys and only let him play with the rest and rotate them out about every three months. I also donate a lot of his toys after he has lost interest in them.

My Boy was looking for a specific remote control key that he has taken interests in for the week. I always tell my son to put his toys away in his toy bin and clean up after playing with it so he will know where to find it.

My Boy: Mama, where's my key?
Me: I don't know. Where did you put it?
My Boy: Mama, where's my key???
Me: Did you look in the living room? Is it under the bed? Or maybe in the kitchen?
My Boy: No <insert sad face here>
Me: Well, I'm sorry son, but you know I always tell you to clean up. You know that means you have too many toys and I'm going to have to give some away because you can't take care of your toys.
My Boy: No, my key is just playing hide and seek with me.

Mother's Day and Everyday

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is, yes it is, oh, yes it is, yes it is, yes it is oh"

---Boys to Men

My mom... I miss her so much. This Mother's Day I will be taking my daughter for the very first time to visit my mom. Just me and My Girl. Painfully, it will not be in her orchid garden, or a dance studio where she loved to jive and cha-cha, or at one of her favorite restaurants, but at her memorial site.

I lost my mom when I was only 17 years old when I was in high school. She passed away from metastasized colon cancer at the young age of 53 years old. There is so much I could write about my mom... her laugh, her smile, her generousity, and the list could go on forever. But today I just feel like grieving (and that is the absolute thing I love about writing. It's mine. I own it. I feel it. I'll write it. The good, the bad, and the ugly).

 I miss her. Miss her so much. At the tender age of 17 years old, I was naive, selfish, and immature. When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I was scared, upset, and sad. However, I was a scared, upset, and a sad teenager whose world revolved around me. I was in that immature adolescent stage and didn't know how to wrap my head around my mom's illness. I was there for my mom and family during the trying time, but I wasn't fully there. Looking back during that time, if you were to ask me if I'd do anything different...absolutely. I would spend every waking second with her. I would have told her I loved her more. I would have hugged her and never let go. I would have brushed her hair. Smell her more. Yes, smell her. I miss her sweet smell of perfume. I would have taken more pictures of her. I think subconsciously that is why I do take so many pictures is because of my mom. I want to savor each and every second of my children. They are my world and I love them so much. I want them to know that, and I think that's why I try to capture as many memories for them to cherish. I didn't have that opportunity with mom. I sometimes day dream if my mom were still here on Earth with me of how much she would have loved my kids so much, but only for a little bit because it hurts too much. I know her heart would be pouring out with joy and love for my children. I could picture me always trying to get a photo shoot of my children with my mom and how much she would have love that. To pose by her orchids, or dancing and playing with my children at the park. She would have loved that. I would have loved that.  

Quite frankly, I thought that time would heal all wounds. Unfortunately, it has not in my case. Time has made losing my mom even more painful for me. As I was giving birth to my son and daughter, I was screaming for my mom. I wanted her more than ever to be the one by my side... and she was in spirit. Ever since I became a mother, espcially when my daughter came into my life, I find myself grieving more than when I first lost my mom. Not until I became a mother myself, did I know how much my mom loved me and I loved her. A mother's love is like no other.

So this Mother's day, and everyday, kiss, hug, cherish, and love your mothers.

My Pretty Flower Child

First time My Girl in the grass...The prettiest flower I have ever seen.

Soldier

We went to the Army surplus store and My Boy insisted that we buy him a pair of ACUs just like his Papa. My Hubster was more than delighted to buy his mini-me a pair, and I was elated because that meant I could take his picture in them.

 My Boy played around in the backyard, ever so proudly, telling his Papa that he was going to work. He even marched in place and saluted my Hubster LOL.

I still can't help but grin at the fact of how much my son is a carbon copy of my husband. They look so much alike.

Just Us, a Blanket, and Our Imagination

This afternoon was a great afternoon. It was just us, a blanket, and our imagination. We spent the afternoon playing outside in the backyard, enjoying the beautiful weather. My Hubster and I enjoyed the giggles and laughs from our son, and the cooing and babbling from our daughter.

My Hubster tossed our children up in the air, and flew them up like superman... and superwoman.

We watched all the different birds fly by. My Boy of course, naming each one..."a robin, a bluejay, a crow..." We also looked at the clouds and imagined that they were different things. My Boy somehow saw an elephant drinking water.

All in all, we had a wonderful afternoon. No television, no video games, no money spent. Just us, a blanket, and our imagination.

A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words

I love my dear husband. I also love photographing him. I know I may be a little bias, but I think he is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. In another lifetime, if he were a few inches taller, I think he could be a model :).I love his cute protruding ears, his bushy eyebrows, the cute indent on his chin, his long eyelashes, his beautiful hazel brown eyes, his sweet slender lips, his round bald head, and I could go on forever in a day. We are high school sweethearts and ten years later I still feel like that 17 year old teenager anxiously waiting to see my boyfriend during passing period.

However, my Hubster dislikes hates taking pictures. It either has to be a special occasion, anniversary, birthday, pictures with the kids, or I have to bribe him. Most of the time, I just take my camera and click away, hoping that I'll get a few solo shots of him.

This past weekend, I struck gold.

Posing for me on this park bench? No, watching his son run around.



Giving me a model pose? No, he just turned around when I called, "Papa!"

 

Thank goodness for my telephoto lens. I was about 25 feet away.



We were just sitting on a blanket watching our son feed the ducks while our girl was napping.
Camera is always ready, and captured between our conversation.



It is always a challenge taking pictures of my kids and my husband, but a challenge I love. I always tell my Hubster that he's going to thank me one day for taking the many pictures I take when we are old and gray and look back on our life because we will have the memories saved in our pictures.

Ribbons, Flowers, Bows, Pigtails, Oh My!

I love ribbons, hairbows, tutus, braids, headbands, hats, flowers, and everything girly... especially pigtails. As My Girl's hair gets thicker and longer, I get excited to try and see if her pigtails will stay in. We have now upgraded to alligator clips from velcro bows! However, my daughter's hair is still too short and thin, sigh.

So for now, our flower headbands will still do the trick.